I park in an unmarked parking spot at Ty's school. That isn't to say that it isn't really a parking spot, it's just that there are no lines. Basically the parking lot is in the shape of a lopsided circle with marked parking spots along two sides, a red zone along the other two sides, and an island in the middle with a big tree. People park at the island, which is where I park, because it is a particularly nice shade tree. In fact, people sometimes get there 30 minutes early to park in the shade. Even though they have air in their cars. And what gets me is the amount of people who park in the red zone just because there is shade. Our newsletter this month says that the school bus drivers have complained, and I for one am glad that they did. People are fucking idiots when it comes to parking at that school.
For example...
(You knew there was an example, come on. You knew.)
I was parked at the tree island today, and like I said there are no real spots, it's just people trying to park as straight as possible. Now, sometimes people park in such a way that if the spots WERE marked, the line would be going straight down the middle of the car. This isn't fair, because they are taking up someone's spot at the tree, and the tree only holds maybe 10 or 11 cars, depending on who parks like a fucking idiot. Anyway, today I was parked, and someone was a complete douche bag and parked like how I just said. Because of this, the space between the cars was awkward. I parked between two other Civics (I cant tell you how many 96 Honda Civics are at that school, I haven't seen this many in one place since like...1996.) One of the Civics left, and there was a little tiny Civic or possibly Corolla sized parking space next to me.
In comes this SUV, I'm talking the size where the roof of my car is maybe at their side view mirror level, and it squeeeeeeezes its self in. I'm not really sure how the physics on that worked, but somehow Mr I Have To Compensate For My Short Penis By Getting 10 Miles To The Gallon In This Thing Here got in the spot. It took him a while, but you know, it's super important to park in the shade on a 60-something degree Southern California day where people are wearing sweaters.
For the record, the marked parking spots along the side are hardly ever taken. And there were plenty that would have accommodated this vehicle.
So I go to get out, and I can only open my door about eight inches. I limbo my way out of the car, only to have to get Wade out of the seat behind me. Granted, there are a lot of mothers who leave their babies in the car while picking up the kids from school there, I for one am not stupid, so I had to carefully try to pull him out of his seat.
To make matters worse, this SUV had the biggest "Eh, don't touch me with your door, you'll scratch the paint" plastic bumper runner things you ever did see running the length of the car. I might have had enough room to work with if it weren't for the paranoid fucker who's never heard of one of those suction cup dent poppers. (From our car being parked in a grocery store parking lot for three years, we've picked up a tip or two about dent removal after being rammed with carts.)
So I've got the door open, and I'm trying to undo the carseat, and the door taps the bumper.
HAAAANK says the big angry gas guzzler.
"Shut up and stop supporting terrorism you oil thirsty bastard!" I yell to it, because I often yell at things if they yell at me first.
That must have hurt it's feelings, because as I pulled Wade out, his little shoe went dink on the door of the SUV, and it started with its rape horn.
BEEP BEEP OH MY GOD HONK FLASH BEEP SQUAT HEEEEEEELP BEEP HONK BLAT TWEET SOMEONE IS TRYING TO RAPE ME HONK HONK FLASHY FLASHY
Not only does Mr I Have To Compensate For My Short Penis By Getting 10 Miles To The Gallon In This Thing Here have to prove himself by driving a gas guzzling automobile and parking it in spots that are too small, but apparently he doesn't want anyone looking at it. The alarm went on, and I just walked away, because seriously I did nothing wrong to it and it was over reacting. Furthermore, he started it by parking in a spot that was too small! The alarm went on for about another minute before I see the guy push the button on his keys, and the thing goes b-b-b-b-beep.
So here's my question, for those of you who have alarms on your car. Why? If it takes you a minute to react to the fact that "hey, my car alarm is going off," furthermore to have it on a setting where it starts hootin' and hollerin' when a leaf touches it, then what good does it do to even have it? By all logic, parking like that automatically meant that the guy was asking for it, obviously, but if it really was a bad guy, all you have to do is push a button from 50 feet away to turn it off without even investigating.
9 times out of 10, what do you do when you hear a car alarm going off? The first thing you think is "someone shut that damn thing off," and the second thing you think is "Oh that's mine. Let me push a button." You don't go see what the noise was about, you don't even call the police. Then again, that's probably a good thing because 9 times out of 10 your car alarm is going off because a toddler's shoe touched it.
What gives, people?
Posts
6 got all hot and/or bothered:
I dunno.....I've never had a car that deserved an alarm.
Hell, I leave my doors unlocked, and my KEYS IN THE IGNITION...and my car is still in the driveway every morning...
No one wants that piece of trash.
that persons alarm needs to be calibrated. It should not be rendering people deaf bc a toddler or say..a bird craps on it.
I had a lady actually get OUT of her car and watch me park next to her minivan because she said "people in trucks always ding my minivan".
She was standing at the rear of her car watching my every move.
I got out of my car and she was still watching me open my door and get my daughter out.
I hear her comment-"Oh you parked close, but your are still in the lines. I was worried you were going to ding my car"
I looked at her and said "Well you see that I didnt and Im not going to..okay? Rest assured." Of course, this was with the sickly sweet sarcastic smile I love to deliver.
She lets out a long disgusted sigh and says.."Well Im just sick of people dinging my car..."
I must have given her a look at that point like she just grew two heads (and didnt know how to use either!). She says, "Whatever, Im not going to argue about it".
What a miserable life to have to STALK people in parking lots to protect your car. Heck people, stay home or wrap it up in bubble wrap and get on with living.
TRM
hmmm...I think as long as the alarm was going off since you breathed too close to it, you might as well have given it a big old dent with your door.
My car has an alarm that goes off when the door is opened without the remote. I cannot stand the really sensitive ones!
I also drive an SUV and I cannot stand when I see other SUVs parking in spots they clearly don't fit in. I usually end up parking further away and walking because the spaces aren't always that big and I don't want to impose on someone else who's car should actually FIT in the space!
As for the gas, it's our family car and I don't drive it very often! Plus, we added the third row seat and can fit eight people in it now. With a few more people, we can actually save from taking two cars many places!
My car came with an emergency button. I only use it to scare the neighbor's nasty cat off of my hood. I do hate the oily thirsty a-holes. They are EVERYWHERE in Eastwick. You should see the pity looks I get when I drive up in my reasonably sized, 27 miles to the gallon in the city car. Suckers.
I hate those alarms that talk. I know my last two cars had alarms but I was the only one that ever set them off.
Post a Comment