Happy

That's the picture that I keep of my handsome husband on my desk where I write and do some of my knitting.

The Buddhists have this saying about finding, you know, "the one." There's no crazy heart palpitations, or instant feelings of falling madly in love, like a lot of people expect. Sparks. Bells. None of that romantical hoo haah.

The Buddhists say that when you realize that you've met that person, that you will suddenly become perfectly calm.

Or you'll walk around your whole life until one day you meet someone, and you just feel like you're home. "Oh there you are," you'd say.

That's really what it's like.

We used to go hiking up at Mill Creek, one of the settings mentioned in my novel. That is where we built a dam, and sat for hours talking, becoming friends.

That wasn't just calm, it was serenity.

December 31st is our 4th anniversary. We've been together for 5 1/2 years.

Some would say it's a long time.

I'd say stop being a douche bag and marrying someone just because you think you see sparks when they wear tight jeans, and look past the materialistic. Maybe you too could find that calmness and make it past four years.

This is real happiness, no matter how expensive the first date, elaborate the proposal, elegant the wedding, and exquisite the diamond ring.

It's not a song, or a cologne, or rippling pecs.

It's not an 8 1/2 inch personality.

When he brings me flowers freshly picked from a random parking lot planter, or calls just to see what I'm doing and he actually cares and listens, or he kisses the nape of my neck, I absolutely know what those Buddhists were talking about.